WOW! My kid is really good!

by Mark Sortino

So there I was. The fourth quarter began, and my 5 year old son began dribbling down the field making moves I've seen the pros make (or so it seemed). My grin grew as he made one spectacular move after another. Finally, the perfect shoelace kick into the goal for the score! Watching his teammates grab him and try to lift him up with glee, I couldn't help but imagine what was in the future of my son who had made that jump from "average" player to "great player". I told my son how great he played and how he was "better" than most kids...

"Better than most kids?" Yes, that was what I thought at the time. But then I realized that I had seen this before. You see, as children grow, they learn at different speeds and different times. In just a few short years as a coach of youth sports, I have witnessed those "superstars" at age 5 become "average" players by age 7. Why? Because everyone else caught up! Sometimes they catch up mentally, or sometimes physically. Sometimes it's both. But most will catch up - it's just a matter of when...

So how do we talk to our "superstar" 5 year old? If I tell him he's great and better than everyone else, this will make him feel great. If I build his self esteem and confidence up so much now, what will happen when everyone catches up at age 7, 8, or 10? Many things may happen - most of which are bad. First, my son may realize that he no longer is the "greatest" and decide that soccer is no longer fun. He may feel that his "superstar" soccer abilities - the ones that Mom and Dad emphasized and talked about for so many years - are gone, and that he is a failure. Why play at all? So what will happen? He will quit.

Why do we encourage our kids to play youth sports at such a young age anyway? Maybe to encourage teamwork, community, and friendship. Maybe to develop mental and physical coordination. Maybe to get them outside away from the TV and Nintendo. But I will tell you why I want my son to play...to HAVE FUN! If he no longer has fun, then all the wonderful lessons of life that are found in youth sports - especially in soccer - will have to be learned elsewhere, because my son wont want to play if it's not fun.

So when your child makes those giant leaps of physical and mental development in youth sports, congratulate him. Encourage him. But talk about the "team" and how everyone else did as well. Talk about how nice it was when he helped the other team player up from the ground. Talk about how "fun" a game it was. Remember, we want him to play every year...not just the years he feels he's the best... Then sign him up for Select!